Troll Magnet

Monday, 18 November 2019

Troll Magnet

Katie Hopkins is always guaranteed to generate mass hysteria and attract an audience. She’s been at it again – this time winding up the Twitteratee with her poorly-timed tweet on the death of Bob Crow.

But are the green and the swivel eyed the sort of eyeballs you want to attract? Sadly, too many publishers think they probably are.

It would seem our nation is addicted to Katy Hopkins, the goad-to girl for tabloid newspapers and desperate daytime TV shows. There’s no better attention seeker in business. Just the promise of an appearance can add millions to the audience of any TV show, online blog or newspaper column. She’s box office.

I don’t know if it’s her class or her chromosomes that people resent most, but any opinion from this member of the public is guaranteed to generate strong reactions. I doubt Hopkins knows either, but whatever it is, it’s extremely valuable. If she could bottle it, she'd sell it for millions – if some tabloid journalist didn't nick it off her first.

They say that going on any venture like The Apprentice is a voyage of discovery. You might not find what you originally wanted (and what sane person would genuinely want to work for Alan Sugar?) but you will find something far more valuable – self-realisation.

Though there were far more obnoxious and anti social characters on that series than Hopkins – some of whom have subsequently been imprisoned for fraud – none of them happened to be both posh and female. Those are the two demographics that can inspire the strongest reaction. The British public, sadly, is hooked on a powerful, addictive stimulant. The street name is Dudge, short for Dudgeon, and many of its addicts will do anything they'd never do – read the Sun or The Daily Mail or watch Channel 5 – just to get high on dudgeon.

And Hopkins never fails to deliver. Her opinions and raw and pure – never cut with any fillers or qualifying statements. It's really sad to see what happens to people when they get addicted. It only takes a few experiences and you can be hooked. The dealers – TV producers and newspaper editors – are hoping to make money out of this, but they're hopeless addicts too. Just as as desperate as their audience, with whom they are locked in a co-dependent relationship.

They reason that the types of people who are easily manipulated by Katie Hopkins are the type that will fall for anything. Imagine how valuable they would be to advertisers. By creating all these green and swivel-eyed simpletons, the publishers hope to build mass demographics that they can sell into slavery to some evil brand.

I can't think of a more awful fate or a more depressing reflection of the state of our nation.

But there is some good news. The best way to stop the influence of these dudgeon merchants – Piers Morgan, Julie Burchill, Katy Hopkins – is to just say no. Ignore them. They won't go away, but they can't hurt you either. Not if you don't let them. Don't be an enabler. Save that for the oiks.

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